I rang the hospital back and they told me to come in for another scan, but that I had to come in on my own because of the coronavirus restrictions. Everything was running through my head, even getting my hopes up even though they’ve already told me the baby wasn’t okay. I did the pregnancy test and it was a more clear positive than the first pregnancy test I took. If it was negative – which I knew it wouldn’t be as I had no pain or bleeding and my sickness was still getting worse – I wouldn’t have to go in. After the two weeks there was no sign of miscarrying so I rang the hospital and they asked me to do a pregnancy test. Not only was it mentally draining, it was physically draining, just waiting for something to happen. Two whole weeks I waited for my body to start expelling tissue and while all this was happening, so was coronavirus. Not knowing what I was in for I searched online and some of the things I read petrified me. I went home still in disbelief, asking myself, why does my body hate me so much that I still feel pregnant even though my baby is dead inside me? As soon as I got home I made my mind up to choose natural management. I couldn’t think straight so she told me to ring her after the weekend when I’d had time to process it all. I spoke to the nurse and she gave me 3 options – natural, medical or surgical management. I hated myself, blaming myself and my body. Then she confirmed there was no heartbeat and that the baby was still measuring 7 weeks. Lying there I felt like my whole world was still. I felt sick walking in there, all my hopes pinned on the baby being fine. I rang the EPU the following day and got an appointment for an internal scan. I was still hoping my dates where incorrect and maybe they’d made a mistake seeing a heart beat on the first scan, maybe it was still too small to see. I still had all the pregnancy symptoms – sickness, tender breasts, tiredness etc. A few hours later I got the report for the hospital, which said no heart beat had been seen. I sat in the car and hoped that the small size of the baby was just because I had got my dates wrong. She said she’d do a report for the hospital and that I should ring the early pregnancy unit (EPU) for an appointment. She held my hand and told me she thought something was wrong. That was the moment I knew something had happened. We walked in to the scan room and the lady started scanning for the baby. I went with my partner and my mum, so that she could see her grandchild. On 4th March I had my second early reassurance scan. I walked away with a scan picture of my baby, which I will cherish for the rest of my life. She asked me to come back the following week to measure again. I was so happy, but the baby was measuring 6-7 weeks and I should’ve been 7 weeks. I decided to go for a private early reassurance scan and on 26th February I saw my baby for the first time – a little blob on the screen, with a flutter of a heartbeat. This was 2 weeks after I found out my sister was pregnant too! We worked out the dates and we were only 5 days apart, which made us both so excited. I felt every emotion when I saw the test result – shock, happiness and scared. I had a positive pregnancy test after being told when I was younger that I would need help with IVF when I started trying for a baby. On 6th February 2020 my life changed forever. Remember there is always someone to talk to no matter who that is and everyone is different, each miscarriage is different. Simply Say – supporting someone you know.Lesson: go in later, this last week was torture. He says that I am measuring at 6 weeks today, so I guess last week was too early. UPDATE: I just wanted to share the relief we received at our scan today (8 days later from first scan) - there was a strong heartbeat and everything seems to developing okay. Has anyone been through this? What was your experience? Thanks ♥️ This process has been defeating and I feel I’ve been robbed of the joy of finding out you’re pregnant. I have minimal pregnancy symptoms - sore breasts and exhaustion, but that’s it. He is “suspicious that this pregnancy is not developing correctly.” He wants me to come back next week for another scan, but was sure to prepare me for a miscarriage. Everything else looked right - sitting in right place in uterus, fetal pole, yolk sac, gestational sac, and embryo - but, no flicker. My anxieties rang true when he shared that he couldn’t find a heartbeat. I had miscarriage (chemical pregnancy) in the beginning of December, so I assumed he wanted to be safe with an early scan transvaginal. My doctors wanted me to come in early, at six weeks, for my first scan.
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